Sewers, Stenches, and Twits, Oh My!
by Demi Elliott
Summary: This was the first story I ever submitted to the Web. There are probably many ways it could be improved...


Sewers, Stenches, and Twits, Oh My!

By Demi Elliott 5/10/07

Hank Stanley, Captain of Fire Station 51, was caught in traffic and fidgeted with the radio dials hoping to hear a traffic report. Finally, in frustration, he just shut the thing off. He groaned at the very thought of arriving late to work, especially after the way he'd gone after Gage and Kelly for that very thing just last shift. He'd given the "glare" and quite forcefully stated to the Twits that the next member of his crew who came in late would be cleaning the Latrine for the next month. Looking at his watch he groaned once again as he realized that he was now officially late and that if he followed through with his threats, "he" would be the one cleaning the latrine.

All of a sudden, he heard the sound of screeching tires and a loud boom. Instinctively, he jammed on his brakes and fought for control as the car began to skid. Blanching, he realized that he was going to run off the road down what appeared to be a very steep drop. Everything seemed to slow down as the car went over the edge. Then, the world exploded and his awareness faded into darkness.

*******************************************************************************

At Station 51, both paramedics stood by the backdoor of the truck bay watching the summer rainstorm. "Where's Cap?" Johnny asked his partner. Roy DeSoto shrugged. "I don't know. With this rain, he could be caught in traffic." Both men jumped back as a spray of water hit them when Mike Stoker, their engineer, came running in out of the rain. He asked: "Hey guys, did Cap make it in yet? He comes in the same way I do and it was stop-still the whole way in. It took me an extra 20 minutes just to go five miles."

Overhearing the men talking, C-Shift's captain, otherwise known as Captain Hook (at least behind his back) approached the men and frowned. "Gentlemen, it appears that Captain Stanley is late and I am not a happy man. Be ready for roll call in two minutes; this station is looking sloppy and we need to spruce things up….Let's get to it, men! The guys wasted no time and scurried about getting ready and soon stood in line for morning inspection. As Stoker skidded into place while still buttoning his shirt, in a very "Gage" like way, the rest of the guys couldn't help but snicker. Captain "Hook" looked ready to blow but, fortunately for Mike, before he could begin, the tones went off.

_**Station 51, car over the embankment on I-104. Two miles south of Cedartown on-ramp. Time out 8:14**__  
_

Captain Hookraider acknowledged the call and as he went by the squad, he handed the call slip to Roy, keeping the duplicate copy for himself. As usual, Roy led the way with the big red engine following behind. Today, Roy couldn't keep back a few sharp remarks as several cars took their own sweet time moving over and a few others just plain stopped where they were in the middle of the highway. He knew full well that a car down the embankment in that area would be bad and they would be lucky if there was anyone left alive to rescue. But he had no idea just how bad, bad could be.

****************************************************************************

"Roy, that looks like..." Johnny's voice trailed off as they got close enough to see the car that had gone over the side. "Oh God, it's Cap; that's Cap's car!" Johnny was out of the squad almost before it stopped moving. Carefully parking the squad well back from the drop off, Roy took a deep breath before following Johnny. Moving quickly, he and Johnny got the equipment out of the storage bins and hurried over to the ropes that Mike and Marco had already set up for them.

Leaving their equipment for the guys to send down, Johnny and Roy began their descent, watching their footing as it began to rain hard, water poured down on them, and the hill turned into mud. When they were about halfway down, there was a loud rumbling noise and the whole side of the hill seemed to liquefy underneath them. Clinging tightly to their ropes, and tucking their faces down, they rode out the slide.

It seemed to last forever, but finally, the noise stopped and they could move again. Fortunately, Mike had been on the ball, and managed to move the engine out of harms way, pulling the guys back almost to the top of the hill. Preparing to descend again, Roy looked down and gasped. Cap's car was gone; all that he could see was mud.

*****************************************************************************

Sputtering and choking, Hank Stanley somehow managed to pull himself out of the mud soup he'd ended up in. Spitting out the foul stuff, he looked about him, trying to figure out where he was. Wiping his face, he realized he couldn't see and struggled to catch his breath. Wherever the hell he was, it stank to hell. Trying to figure out what had happened and where he was, he made himself remember as much as he could. He could still feel the terror of his car plunging down the hill and he definitely remembered waking up in pain. He vaguely remembered clambering out of his wreck of a car, and seeing the rescue team approaching down the hillside. Then, he was hit by a wave of mud and fell. His leg, which had pained him before, was in agony now. And the smell!; Goddammit!, he was in a goddam sewer; had to be. Who knew how long it would take those Twits to find him. He would just have to get himself out of this fix. Attempting to stand, he gasped as pain coursed through his leg and sank back down into the mire. Maybe he'd just rest a bit first. God, it stank down here.

*******************************************************************************

Mike stood looking down from the road, but couldn't see any sign of Cap's car. He hoped that somehow, Cap had survived, but admitted to himself that it was unlikely. All he could see was mud, mud, and more mud, with a few trees here and there. Chet and Marco came to stand next to him and he could hear Captain Hookraider calling for assistance over the radio. Speechlessly, (except for Marco, who was quietly praying, they took in the sight and the amount of damage was incomprehensible. But it was the absence of noise that got to him the most.

Suddenly, the silence was shattered by a shout. It was Johnny, and moving to the edge, Mike could see that he and Roy appeared OK, and apparently wanted to be lowered down to search for Cap. He understood full well, he wanted to help find Cap himself, but knew he would have to wait until more help arrived. After what seemed like hours, he finally could hear engines approaching sure enough, two came around the curve towards them. Help had arrived.

***********************************************************************

Cap again tried to stand and stumbled, falling forward, trying to catch himself with his hands. White hot pain shot up his leg and he groaned and lay still for a moment before attempting once more to stand. Finding the task impossible, he drug himself over to the side of the tank he'd fallen into and leaned against it. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around himself and wished for his turnouts. Those twits better find him soon or they would all have Latrine duty for the rest of their lives!! Every single goddam one of them!!

Searching through the field of mud for their Captain; the men of Station 51 walked side by side in their section of the Grid search. By now, they had plenty of help. In addition to several engine companies, the California Highway Patrol, some off duty cops and firemen, and even some postal workers had shown up for the all call.

It had been hours since they'd first responded to the tones, and they were doing the best they could to keep morale up as they all worried that the worst had befallen their captain.

*****************************************************************************

As one, they all turned at the sound of a shrill whistle. One of the cops was standing over a gaping hole. They ran over and peered down into the blackness. Someone shone a light and sure enough, there was Cap. A rope appeared out of nowhere and Johnny was let down. Doing a quick assessment, he grinned. Cap was wet, muddy, mad, and really, really stinky, but he was alive! Johnny called for a stokes, and soon enough they were out of there.

In the ambulance, Johnny managed to get the clothes of Cap and stuffed them into a plastic bag. It took the smell down a few notches, but they both still reeked when they got to the hospital. Johnny went to find a shower while Cap was taken down to a treatment room and met by doctors Bracket and Morton. Morton (never a guy for tact) wrinkled his nose and asked, "What have you been doing, exploring the inner working of a Latrine?

Cap tried, but couldn't stop himself. He began laughing and laughed until tears rolled out of his eyes. Finally he responded to the two mystified doctors. Yep, yesiree, that's me. I'm the Latrine King!


End file.
